🗿The Gods You Feed, 🔓 Open Access Ascension, and 👩🎨 Not Your Mother’s Vision Board
“When you meet the monster, anoint its feet.”
I pulled out my old Gods from storage. I hadn’t turned them on in centuries. They took forever to reboot — only to find their software was no longer supported. All the new Gods are not backward compatible. This tells me I need a new spiritual system.
Seek out your own software. Download your own upgrades.
Install a custom consciousness.
On my path I met a future God. One made of slime and machinery. It was an abomination — bred from our collective consciousness and fed only fears and “otherness.”
I tried to outrun it — to keep myself from being absorbed by it — but that didn’t solve anything. Instead, I began to starve.
Disconnectedness means deprivation. I realized I needed both to be fed and to feed myself to the world.
A recluse can find peace but will not find growth.
To be human is to be disturbed from our dreams. We were born to interact. To be affected by one another. To heal, love, merge and create new collectives.
Consciousness is just a system made up of other systems — mental, emotional, physical, astral and so on. Our energy bleeds into each other. The collective we pull from is a hall of mirrors. Everything we absorb, project and repress beams out like lasers to paint what we know as reality.
My personality has been cobbled together from all the words said to me and those left unsaid, and the interactions – tender and hard – that imprint on my skin and spirit.
Here I am in this vehicle of consciousness and I’ve allowed myself to be installed with all the programs that run me and fail me.
“When you meet the monster, anoint its feet.”
We can’t outrun the strange new waves of consciousness. We can only choose to drown or conquer the wave. As the old gods retire, there will be new gods to feed.
What are you going to feed your gods?
I choose no fears. No mindless algorithms. No otherness. No scarcity mindsets.
Let us not create amalgamations of our own limitations.
I want to feed and be fed bright boldness, cosmic creativity, humble curiosity, higher love, fearless neutrality, artful beauty, warm openness, galactic giggles, divine discernment and the clearest boundaries of what is mine and what is not.
NEW YEAR VISION
👩🎨 Not Your Mother’s Mood Board
I made a vision board for the new year. These are all the cosmic energies I want to pull into the 3D and psychic gateways I want to open in 2024.
One very important part of my new year vision is to combat “otherness” and become fearless in the face of polarity. This means more interaction and integration of the darkness. But that doesn’t mean it has to be heavy or a “dark night of the soul.”
I had a lot of fun co-hosting an end of the year “grief burning” with
, and it’s inspired me to host a recurring zoom gathering on or around the full moon.I want them to feel like cosmic parties or spirit potlucks with music, meditations, poetry readings, dream sharing and psychic channelings — all centered around a theme or topic meant for integration.
Some of them might be dark themes like grief and death and monsters — but the intention of us gathering will always be to shine and share light and love and humor on the human existence.
The first Cosmic Spirit Party will be Thursday, January 25 at 5:30PM-7:00PM PST and we’re going to start with the darkest theme of all — Death and Roadkill.
Death is the opposite of Birth not Life, and Roadkill is something that my soul sister Sarah offered up in last month’s Grief Burning. In a sense, life makes roadkill of each of us and I want to explore what that means, and find a way to honor it and celebrate it.
My sacred intention for these gatherings come from the quotes I collaged onto my vision board: “When you meet the monster, anoint its feet.” and “There’s a kind of talk that’s like a lit lamp kissing an unlit lamp.” Let’s talk like that.
If you’re interested, you can register here:
SPIRIT SMARTS
🔓 Open Access Ascension
I’m anti- mystery schools, secret brotherhoods and esoteric knowledge that hides behind paywalls.
We’re all sleeping beads on a tapestry of the Universe — the more of us that awaken the more fun we can have on the cosmic playground.
My dreams and visions have become more transpersonal and beyond. I’ll continue to share what I learn through gnosis openly in this newsletter, as well on Instagram and my blog and in the WhatsApp broadcast channel.
If you would like help interpreting your dream imagery, I’m hosting a dream sharing circle on Zoom tomorrow morning at 10AM PST. These sessions are free to attend and one-hour long — but I’ll hang out for about 15 minutes afterward if anyone wants to talk.
For now — as an offering from my spirit to yours — I reflected back on my dream and diary entries from the past year and picked a favorite vision and insight from each month.
JANUARY
Feeling more and more alien, as if the personality is a skin or a mask. As if the body was a choice I made. Temporarily acting on a cosmic stage.
FEBRUARY
The silences talk back. Not in words, but in cohesion and clarity. Time can expand. Seconds stretch. I slip between two moments. I am cradled by infinity.
MARCH
The splitting of the soul is necessary. I don’t mean in a shamanic soul loss type of way, I mean in the dividing of our SELF. The day-to-day “I” and the personality and the heart and our gut. Each chakra with its own intuition and brain. We have multiple brains and multiple bodies that exist under different laws of nature and we are spread across all of them. Like Alice in Wonderland it is Nonsense. I can accept a lot more nonsense now.
APRIL
We make new stars together with our love. You and I — Atoms and Eve.
MAY
These layers of spirit that cloak my consciousness are alive and brimming with activity, like a bog. A living pool of consciousness that grows and changes and evolves depending on what I feed it.
JUNE
The Great Mother says, “All my Daughters have Dark Earth within.” I see my human body woven with grass and muddy earth. It’s ok to make mistakes of varying degrees, she says. Sometimes the darker the regret, the closer we are to Mother Earth’s forgiveness. These are human lessons to learn. In Heaven there are no mistakes. This being human is a gift— how else will we grow? I see the seams of my body sewn with soil.
JULY
Ask yourself what is this person doing with their light? Refracting / Reflecting / Diffusing / Obstructing / Shadowing / Swallowing?
AUGUST
You are here to fulfill your destiny. Not everyone will. The boy can feel it in his body — the desire butts up against the doubt, convolutes itself and feels like confusion, but all that is a deterrent that you can blow away.
Just head toward your destiny anyway.
SEPTEMBER
As I awake from The Dreaming, I pull action and strength from the earth (masculine) and bring down intuition and patience from up above (feminine).
OCTOBER
The soul of the world needs the goddess.
NOVEMBER
You are not indoctrinating yourself, you’re following the consciousness breadcrumbs back home to yourself.
DECEMBER
We assume we’ll never know the true nature of reality, but we are the true nature of reality, and we are the Universe in the process of discovering itself.
Thank you as always. I love the idea of a custom consciousness. Find your own unique way of being and relating to the world. You don't need scripture or gurus in this system.