I am writing this in between the Winter Solstice and New Moon. There are so many things I want to say to you. Please forgive this long letter.
The Winter Solstice brought grief on the back of winds. My trees were barren and I felt like I was losing my leaves โ only my leaves were love.
Maybe you feel the same way too, and maybe this grief is not even mine or yours or ours.
Just like the Winter trees are connected by a vast underground system of roots, so are we โ connected to one another with roots of energy.
Humanity is a shared experience of grief and joy.
We forget life is cyclical. We forget the seasons are within us. We forget in three months from now, new loves will grow on our branches.
We are born on Earth, but made from the Stars. My body ruled by the Moon. My soul guided by the position of planets. Inside of me are chemical tides that ebb and flow โย and yet I forget that what I feel today, I might not feel tomorrow.
Like the Universe, we are made of matter and energy, and matter can get stuck in dimensions of grief and loneliness and darkness โ but energy just wants to move and break through us.
Once in a vision I saw how we concretize our spirit. We make statues of ourselves and of the ones we love and we expect them to stay that way.
I sat with a friend who was a beautiful statue sculpted out of marble. She was a work of art and worthy of worship, but she was immobile. I saw underneath the hard surface that she was stuck in the past, so I asked her to tell me her story of NOW โ not the past or the future.
โWhat life is trying to break through you NOW?โ
That's when the most heavenly light cut through her stone body, crumbling rigid matter into energy that stretched out toward eternity. This was a vision of true beauty and true freedom and true friendship.
There is a reason why everyone who has an enlightened experience returns back to earth with the message that all is love and all is light. Because it's really that simple.
In spirit there is only one true law and it is darkness vs light. We all carry both, but it is the light we should be bending towards, and it is the light we help to break through in the ones we love.
Our bodies turn on us. Life can feel cruel and cold. Death is a matter of fact. As humans, we do what we have to do to survive โ even if it's shortsighted. These are the laws of nature.
But here is a secret: Our spirits do not abide by nature. Our spirits travel through space and time, and defy all earthly laws and limitations.
We stop being matter, but we will always be energy.
I feel like a tree losing my leaves, and these leaves are love, but the love never leaves โ it just becomes something else.
Here is another transition for us. We have entered the Capricorn season. This is what I know about Capricorn energy: It is a goat that defies gravity and elements and all obstacles to climb to the top of the mountain.
Once in a dream, I was in a bazaar perusing the stalls in search of a gift for myself. A merchant said to me, "Be like the Goat woman." She is of the Earth but defies it creatively.
Creativity is not just needed for art or poetry, it is essential to life and vision.
When envisioning your life in 2023, defy everything. Be like the Goat. Be determined to climb the mountain in whatever way you can. Defy reality. Defy your limitations. Defy the laws of nature.
My whole life I've been told that I needed a middle man to connect with the Divine. My whole life dogmas and rules and hierarchies have kept me away from my own spirit, and sometimes I am angry about that, and it is a righteous and ferocious anger and I have to fight really hard to not get stuck in that state of being โ to not become a statue of anger. Instead I transmute it, like you can with all energies and emotions. The anger becomes something else.
The anger becomes my drive and determination to defy all human limitations on my spirit.
This is my true purpose, and it's very simple. Bend towards the light. Lessen the darkness. Shine love.