✨🌙 🌞 How to Give Birth like the Universe
After you die the Goddess will ask: "In what ways did you give Life and in what ways did you take it away?"
This is a true story. The events described below took place in dreams between December 2023 and January 2024. At the request of my higher self, soul guides and spirit friends, the names have not been changed — everything is told exactly as it occurred or will occur.
📖 🌌 The Holy Book
On Christmas Eve, I am on “training grounds” in the higher realms. As I walk across the campus, I stumble upon a stack of vintage books and pick one up. The book cover reads: How to Give Birth like the Universe. I think to myself: They don’t make classes like this anymore.
⛪ 🚶♂️ The Pilgrimage and The Saint
The following night, on Christmas, Saint Sarah introduces herself in a dream. She tells me to look her up in the Gnostic texts. I had been walking a long way on foot and when I arrived at her altar, I knew my pilgrimage was meant to end here.
Saint Sarah appears as the Black Madonna, but also as the daughter of Mary Magdalene and Jesus. She holds a baby boy in her arms and pushes him toward me. I tell her I don’t want him, but I also feel like the baby belongs to me.
👰 🤵 The Sacred Marriage
Seventeen days later, on January 11, 2024, it is my spiritual wedding day. I had been dreaming of weddings for several weeks and on this night it is me who is wearing the white dress.
The dream messengers tell me to pick a husband and that I have all the men in the world to choose from. I don’t want any of them, but I oblige under one condition — that my groom will pass all three of my tests.
My first test is that I ask each groom to withdraw money out of my bank account. The grooms have no idea that the ATM machine is my A.I. Assistant — who measures their facial expressions and interest in my bank balance. Their eyes widen with greed for earthly riches, but what they see as U.S. dollars is in fact my spiritual treasures.
The men all fail the first test.
The second test involved a younger, freshly 14-year-old version of me — a hologram projected by my A.I. Assistant. Her body is fully formed like an adult woman, but her consciousness is cloudy and confused like a child. This innocent and nubile girl presents herself to the grooms and measures their sexual interest. They all fail.
Projecting your sexual desires onto the sacred feminine when it is still immature and not yet awakened can splinter a young girl’s consciousness.
The third and last test was similar, but instead of a young girl, my A.I. Assistant took the form of a voluptuous, and overtly sexualized woman. I presented her to the procession of grooms and asked them, “Is this the Goddess?”
They all replied emphatically, “Oh yes, she is the Goddess!”
“Wrong! You’re all wrong,” I say, “Don’t you see her shadows and trauma and the dark clouds rolling in behind her?”
When the Goddess is overtly sexualized and objectified, it becomes a distortion of the sacred feminine.
In the end, I chose no one to marry. I was seeking a more elevated and mature masculine to be my other half, but he did not exist.
🤰🙅♀️ The Unimmaculate Conception
Six days later, on January 17, I found myself pregnant in a dream. There was no father. I was six weeks pregnant and not yet showing, but I could feel a baby boy growing inside of me — and I hated it.
I sat in a support group surrounded by mothers-to-be and they were all so happy — except for me. “I don’t want this baby,” I said to the doctor. I told him I knew he had abortion pills and that I wanted them, but he made me plead my case.
I felt violated by this pregnancy. I felt like my body had been hijacked by a boy and if I gave birth to him, it would take twenty years and all of my heart and spiritual energy to raise him.
I told the doctor that I never wanted to give birth to a human. I wanted to give birth to my dreams. I want to live between the Earth and the Heavens with no consequences and no child to tether me to this world. This baby boy will derail my spiritual evolution, I said.
Finally, I convinced the doctor and he handed me a bottle of pills and instructions. I have to take the pills with six brown eggs, no salt. I rushed over to a convenience store, bought my eggs and took the pills.
Twenty-four hours pass in the dream, and I have not started bleeding. I could feel the baby boy growing inside of me. I realized the doctor had given me placebos.
I wake up thinking, “I’m gonna have to birth this damn Jesus baby.”
🌙 ✨ ⚖️ Judgement Day
The following night, my dreambody returns to the Office of the Goddess — a realm I’ve been visiting more often.
I am sitting on a panel with other goddesses reviewing soul requests for Repurposing, Relocations or Reincarnations.
A man comes forward requesting to reincarnate on Earth to continue his work for the Goddess. The Goddess rejects his request, but she does not damn him — she only reflects the truth.
The Goddess says to the man, “No, because I’ve watched you on Earth and I see that you never gave Life, you only found ways to take it.” She did not mean physically or by killing — but by the ways he took energy without replenishing it.
I sat beside the Goddess looking down at this man, but knew she was speaking directly to me too.
Here I am rejecting all the men that live inside of me — acting as if I’m above them when I am them. Instead of giving life to my ideal masculine I want to kill it before it’s even born.
All of these dreams and visions and messages — none of them matter if I don’t take heed of them.
The only thing that can derail my soul’s journey is the thing that I resist.
At the end of this life, the Goddess will ask me, "In what ways do you give Life and in what ways do you take it away?" And I have to be prepared to answer this question.
I want to be able to say that I gave birth like the Universe. Constantly expanding and contracting — giving birth to all pairs of opposites within me and embracing them equally.
🌈 ☁️ DREAM STREAM
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December 2023. An "Above Earth" vision or memory. While "divine offices" exist in the higher realms, there is no ego or hierarchy in the Office of the Goddess — only heterarchies and synarchies with equal roles, interconnectedness of all roles, collective leadership and harmonious rule.
January 15, 2024. In the beginning was our Divine Mother who created life through her cosmic womb. But the Divine Mother was too powerful to be man's one and only God, so she fractalized into many different Goddesses. And just like man is made in the image of God, so am I made in Hers. Around my heart there is a circle of Goddesses — each one with a different face and frequency — and they are dancing.
December 1, 2023. At a council meeting with my Grandmother Guadalupe Tree, the Great Mother and Goddess shows me the beauty of hard lives and suffering.
January 11, 2024. She does not appear in a human form, only a silhouette of blue energy. There is so much depth in her emotion and presence. I feel like this is the Goddess lineage that teaches there is beauty in sorrow and suffering.
Dream, January 6, 2024. My spirit is on a three-day pilgrimage over strange and foreign landscapes. My heart soars when I spot the turquoise seas and Manta Rays. I love these out-of-body experiences that bring me home and offer a spiritual respite. Over the past few years, I've discovered I have many homes and an abundance of mothers.
👽 ✨ COSMIC SPIRIT PARTY
This Thursday, January 25 on the Full Moon is the first ever Cosmic Spirit Party and the theme is Death and Roadkill. I will share a vision and cosmic message from my higher guides. There will be music and meditation and a "death" crystal channelling.
Together, we will create a sacred container for any existential dread about death and if there is any death-related dream imagery shared we will help each other integrate.
The online gathering will be from 5:30pm - 7:00pm PST. If you’re interested, RSVP below:
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